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ZĂĽndt, Mathis (c1498-1572) - 1566

Do you remember the name of the unnamed male Homo sapiens in the photograph you saw a few billion nanoseconds ago? Good answer. You will recall that Bykovsky went into space about 45 hours 30 minutes before Tereshkova and returned to Earth about 2 hours 45 minutes after the latter. The research undertaken to date by yours truly have proven fruitless. This being said typed? What do you think, a woman in space will never succeed? But yes, buddy, they should have thought of it sooner.

Women, it is well known, are lighter than men. Maybe this one, she will succeed in going to touch the moon. We should… Why the puzzled look, my reading friend? Only Luna 2 and Luna 3, both of them Soviet probes by the way, successfully completed their mission. If yours truly may state so, that was a lot of moolah blown to kingdom come. Maurice Chevalier will be flattered. The first woman in space is named Valentine.

She is pretty, they say, but her charm is severe even though she applied lipstick before the big departure. To prove perhaps that Soviet women do not yield to others when it comes to coquetry, but I am convinced that Valentina is not the Valentine of the song. And you? Soviet propaganda will not change a thing. Those brave Russians! They want us to believe that strolling around in space is a walk in the park. They tell us that yesterday morning the two cosmonauts got up fresh and ready and did their little stretching exercises.

Things should not be exaggerated, though. When you are imprisoned in a very small capsule, when hundreds of instruments surround you with their dials, when gravity no longer has any effect on you, when your flight suits squeeze you like a vice and when robots auscultate you every second of the trip, no one should come to tell us that the two Russians have done their morning gymnastics.

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